I am rather comically busy being unemployed. It's comical because I have 40 more hours in the week than I used to and I am already wondering how I got everything done before. I think this is actually some sort of coping mechanism kicking in. It's like my brain scans the day/week whatever, figures out how much time I have, and then fills up that time so it can be active. My brain is very opposed to just hanging out; it needs a task at all times.
A friend said to me yesterday to be sure and take some time to be lazy. But I don't LIKE being lazy. I am much happier busy.
I am super driven to be really organized right now. I've spent a lot of time cleaning up my office and desk. I spent ALL weekend in the following cycle: cook, do dishes/clean kitchen, move laundry, cook, do dishes/clean kitchen....etc. And...I loved it. :) I made this really great indian dish I can have for lunch for most of the week. Did fried chicken for my brother and his family Saturday night. Cooked for Sarah and a friend on Friday night.
Now, next week is spring break, and I won't have a job OR a kid. That might be tough.
Didn't exercise at all this weekend, and ate a lot. Working out with Allan at 11:30 today. Was going to go to yoga at 9:30 but I didn't sleep last night so I am going to pass on that. I think I'll get to they gym early and hop on the elliptical before the other stuff.
Just don't let me get like the Casis (elementary school) moms who annoy me with their talk of how BUSY they ALWAYS are. Perspective people!!!
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4 comments:
it's always like this! when i was really unemployed vs just not working, i barely could find the time in a day to make it to the gym. funny, is it not?
I don't do lazy well either. On the weekends I sometimes feel guilty if I don't clean or do yard work or some other chore. But I blame some of that on my ex who always had some list for us to do. I'm recovering now. I'm sure I would be the same if I weren't working. As much as I griped about the lists, I did enjoy checking things off.
What's the difference between "really unemployed" and "just not working"?
So, the question is...is it bad to not do lazy well? I kind of don't think it is. Not saying I don't have plenty of good issues for a shrink...I can see going down some path about how I don't want to be alone with thoughts (which is true) but so what?
And yes, the gym thing. So, I pick up Sarah at 2:45 so my free day ends there. So if I do an hour at the gym, and maybe do yoga or a bike ride...not sure how I'm going to have time to actually look for a job. :)
This is reminding me of my divorce in some ways. I feel GOOD. I love being a stay-at-home mom for a season. I loved picking Sarah up today, doing homework with her, taking her to dance and picking her up. But I'm not sleeping, and weight is sliding off me. Weird how that works. Some part of me is stressing hard. But, got my xanax refilled so I sense a good sleep in my future. Man I love that drug. Only ever use it to sleep and it WORKS.
here's what i think: some people are just wired to 'do lazy' better. i am one of those people. and other people are wired to be 'do-ers'. those people have a really hard time being lazy, even when they have an excuse to be. it's just the way it is.
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